Already got asked if we're dating
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
