The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
