Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He did a backflip because drugs
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