feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
