if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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