I'm going to jail i love you
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Randomize
