I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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