i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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