How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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