I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
