I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
