He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
