: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
