quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
