so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
