you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
