The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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