How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Holy sore nipples Batman
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
