I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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