Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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