I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You ruined the universe
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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