Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I met the friendliest cop last night
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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