He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
