So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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