we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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