I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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