And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
