He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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