That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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