I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
