Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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