Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
