well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
