Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
time to smoke my breakfast
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
