how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
