ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
