Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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