I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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