She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
