11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
