1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
