i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
