I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
