he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
