Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
