I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
