On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
