don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
