It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
