Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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