he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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